Re-engage is committed to ending chronic loneliness and social isolation for people in their 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond. Many people who get to such a great age find themselves with very limited social circles and social contact to look forward to. We know that older LGBT+ people are vulnerable to loneliness as a direct consequence of decades of privacy and self-concealment. This is a generation who grew up when their very being was deemed outrageous and illegal. A lifetime of exposure to discrimination and stigma can lead to high levels of stress and a strong sense of isolation. All too often, isolation is seen by older people as the price they have had to pay for their sexuality.   

So, we committed to looking into developing an LGBT+ service and we now find ourselves preparing for the launch next month of rainbow call companions our free telephone befriending service for LGBT+ older people.  As with the development of any new service, we kicked off with research into what was needed and wanted by older LGBT+ people. Despite finding activities for people in their 50s and 60s we had very few introductions to people over 75. Could it be that this particular group of older people was that hard to find? Well, yes. As a renowned researcher in the world of ageing commented to me, older LGBT+ people can be “lost to the world”.  

Our research report will be published on 14 March. We learned a lot. About how lonely it can be in a crowd: “I was accepted[…]. as long as I didn’t talk about it. [It was like] ‘We don’t mind you being there but just don’t talk about it’.” and about fear of growing older “We hear some very sad stories of people in care homes who can’t be out. […] I fear if I ever have to go into an old people’s home. There must be people who go back into the closet.”  

We’ve learned that people would value a service for LGBT+ older people. But the indirect finding was that there is no obvious place to promote this service to LGBT+ people who are over 75.  

So, even though there was not a particularly high demand for a telephone befriending service, we’ve decided to set up rainbow call companions to get the ball rolling and, critically, help us to find and learn from more older people. As one of our team working on this project said:  

“To be providing an inclusive respectful befriending service at Re-engage is so exciting. We hope rainbow call companions we will create a safe environment where older people feel comfortable having open conversations.” 

Rainbow call companions is an important milestone in this amazing charity’s commitment to reaching deep into communities and finding the older people who really need us. For me, it’s a personal milestone. Like many people, I encounter homophobia but I’m comfortable calling it out or brushing it off and coming home to my noisy family life. Women and men a couple of decades older than me need this service and I’m so glad we’re making this important step.