The loneliness epidemic

Way before Covid-19 entered our lives, another great – and mostly hidden – epidemic struck the world in the 21^st century: loneliness. An epidemic that only grew bigger and stronger with Covid-19.

Indiscriminate and pervasive, loneliness affects people of all age, gender, ethnicity, social extractions, and represents one of the greatest public health challenges.

Social animals don’t deal very well with loneliness

"Man is by nature a social animal [...] society is something that precedes the individual" (Aristotle, Greek Philosopher)

Humans are primates, and as all primates they need to belong to an intimate social group, a family or a band, in order to feel safe and survive.

Being separated from the group—or feeling separated and isolated even when other members of the group are around — triggers a fight-or-flight response that increases the level of stress in the body and can lead to anxiety and depression.

Loneliness and social isolation on the rise in the UK

In 2017, 5% of adults in England reported feeling lonely “often” or “always", a percentage destined to increase since the population is growing older and lonelier.

To address the problem, in 2018 the Prime Minister, Theresa May, launched the first cross-Government strategy to tackle loneliness, and even created a Ministry for Loneliness: the goal was – and still is – to bring together health services, businesses, local authorities and groups of volunteers to raise awareness and help people build connections to improve the quality of their lives.

Two years and a global pandemic later, the problem is still strong, maybe more than ever, and affects those categories of population that are most fragile. Since 2018, many projects have been created to bring people together based on their age, background or interests, so that they can feel part of a network, a group, a “family”.

Ways to help older people cope with loneliness

In this sense, Re-engage has especially focused on older people: with the deep changes our society is undergoing, the number of people over 75 living alone has increased in recent years and will keep increasing, together with the feeling of abandonment and emptiness. Our communities are not as tight-knit as they used to be, but we are doing our part to help bring people back together.

Two million older people live alone in the UK, with 1.4m suffering from chronic loneliness. They have very few contacts with other people and often TV is their only source of company. Some of them are completely left out, living at the margins of society, sometimes not speaking to a soul for days, if not weeks.

That is where we come in: at Re-engage, we are committed to tackling this problem by reconnecting older people to their communities through social activities, in particular our famous tea parties (pre-covid).

Launching a telephone befriending service

In normal times, before the Covid-19 pandemic, we hosted monthly Sunday tea parties throughout the UK to bring older people together with their peers, and this was the highlight of the month for most of our +8,500 older guests. 

Tea parties are warm, joyful events attended by small groups of guests in their late 70s to 90s - as well as volunteers (hosts, drivers, coordinators) - who would never otherwise have the chance to go out and have a chat with others.

When the pandemic hit, however, our social gatherings had to be temporarily stopped – they will be back once the virus is defeated, which we hope will be soon – but we did not give up: we created call companions, a telephone befriending service through which volunteers make regular calls to lonely and isolated older people. This provides a vital link with the outside world from which they have become isolated.

Loneliness does not discriminate

Call companions aims at supporting people like John, 73, who misses the happy atmosphere of tea parties. Since he lost his wife, Christmas is the worst time of the year and it often takes him until Easter to recover from the isolation.

Not having somebody to celebrate with is really hard on him: tea parties were a moment he looked forward to every month, an opportunity to speak to other people and feel seen and heard. Now that they are gone, loneliness looks darker than ever and John misses those happy days.

As we’ve said before, loneliness does not discriminate and has no age preferences: it affects a lot of young people too, over 40% of 17 – 25-year olds according to a survey by Action for Children. That is why volunteering is often a solution helping both people involved, who create a bond to come out of their isolation together.

Batul, for example, started volunteering seven years ago as a driver, as a way to overcome grief after her Grandmother passed away. Volunteering has made her realize that her grandmother was lucky not to be alone and keeps reminding her everyday what is really important in life.

Volunteering as a way to cope with loneliness

Emma and James would probably say the same about their experience as volunteers. They are a young couple with two kids who share the same will to help others: they have volunteered as both drivers and hosts, involving their kids in the social gatherings.

Now that all gatherings have been cancelled, those people are alone again, and a phone call can make a huge difference in their everyday life. As many of them share, it lifts their spirits when the phone rings and they know someone is there for them, caring for them and eager to speak with them. They enjoy a chat, share stories, and many end up becoming lifelong friends.

This takes us back to the starting point: humans are social animals, and social interactions are vital for the well-being of the body and mind.

Friends are a necessity and a great gift.

In such hard times, what can be more important than having a friend to talk to? Even just to share worries and hopes, to feel connected to another human being and realise that we are not alone in this mess, but indeed loved and cherished by someone, somewhere. 

Because, after all, love is the only real cure for loneliness.